I had a grand idea that I would write extensively about Hispanic/Latinx history during Hispanic Heritage Month. But I forgot that I have a few full time jobs AND I was leading my first “retreat”. So, the intention was there, but the time and energy were not. Not to mention the stress around being of Latinx heritage in America right now. Did my anxiety about the current state of being brown in the U.S hinder my ability to write freely and passionately about my shared history with millions of other U.S citizens?

Yes, 100%.

I am equal parts enraged, paranoid, nervous, fearful and impulsive. Those are a lot of feelings to get a handle on. I’m ashamed of my fear, and so, so angry at those who don’t understand it (either through privilege or willful ignorance). And at a loss on what to say to the people who try to sympathize, even empathize, and yet don’t really know. This includes fellow Latinx people. Regardless of the general idea, the reason for people leaving their countries is so often not the same - my family comes from a history of active oppression, disappeared relatives, and those who were exiled for leaving. I know others who came for jobs, with nothing to be afraid of if they decided to just go “home”.

And in the midst of all of these feelings, I’m still trying to help people by getting them to exercise. Somedays its seems so frivolous and others it feels as if the world depends on these reminders.

Movement is free. I know, I do get paid for my services, as I should. I’ve spent a lot of time learning and perfecting ways to share, encourage and activate people to move in their bodies - without pain and in joy. But I want people to take what I share and guide them to and make it their own. Permanently and FREELY.

That’s it for today.

Be well, stay awesome

k